tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post1987691911533123096..comments2023-10-10T08:54:01.437-04:00Comments on Adoption Sucks: A reason to celebrate adoption? I don't think so, here's why....Denisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116826872609261429noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-75897442729718720972016-10-13T20:44:14.636-04:002016-10-13T20:44:14.636-04:00There is nothing wrong with the spelling of the po...There is nothing wrong with the spelling of the post you are criticizing. Maybe the grammar but we are not here to judge othersBlack sheephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15167674077645064647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-18072622191784090782016-10-13T20:43:33.022-04:002016-10-13T20:43:33.022-04:00There is nothing wrong with the spelling of the po...There is nothing wrong with the spelling of the post you are criticizing. Maybe the grammar but we are not here to judge othersBlack sheephttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15167674077645064647noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-3145894453351294062016-07-25T07:50:24.543-04:002016-07-25T07:50:24.543-04:00Wow. Learn to spell.
Adoption stinks for adoptiv...Wow. Learn to spell.<br /><br />Adoption stinks for adoptive parents too, believe me. Nobody seems to talk about older child adoption and the adoptive parents that become victims of a system that is not transparent and honest, and a child that is vile and nasty. We have friends with a child adopted at an older age from foster care. He just recently tried to strangle her and then beat the father with a rod as he tried to protect his wife. The child is 13 and has never given up on being the drugged up, welfare family, trailer trash that he was taken from. Our son is the same way, though thankfully has not tried physical violence -yet. You've been adopted as a baby. Big deal. You gave up your child for adoption. big deal. Take my son for a week and then tell me what you think of what is really the adoption scam in this country.Jeannienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-70034491969784598312015-07-16T17:46:12.975-04:002015-07-16T17:46:12.975-04:00i agree with all you said, adoption is not a good ...i agree with all you said, adoption is not a good thing, it's better help birth family......Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-32013179336663725222015-04-08T20:34:23.581-04:002015-04-08T20:34:23.581-04:00I don't care what the circumstances are around...I don't care what the circumstances are around adoption, especially mine. Being adopted is my curse.<br />I personally would rather be dragged down to hell by Satan than spend another day with my family.<br />Adoption is evil.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-83598785783342264142015-03-15T14:03:54.289-04:002015-03-15T14:03:54.289-04:00I am a father who lost his child to adoption, spec...I am a father who lost his child to adoption, specifically infant adoption. Worse yet, it was a prearranged adoption before birth. This lead the mother to view me differently (I believe) in fact it lead her sister to think differently. I was left out of the decision, except as a respondee to pay for the act of my involvement. <br />I will always have to live with the utter horror of seeing a beautiful young bereaved mother torn apart by her sister. I will have to live with the image of my own confusion,anger and disbelief. In the minute that followed, wanting assurance, proof I was who they claimed, to realizing it was not what mattered, I thought of how much it meant to me growing up how many people commented I looked like my dad, my dad loved me I him and that connection was unmistakable by all others. I had raged because they wanted money to travel away from me, not to include me. We were mixed up, not having thought this thru together. I loved her & my protection of her of my child was taken away by a strangers desire to separate a child from a mother and have a third party encourage the process. Tragically we could not find each other until four years later. Now almost thirty years later we find that we both wanted each other, looked for each other, wanting to nurture our child together.<br />We both raised children our daughter's siblings. We have been altered as humane beings of our potential, we are but shadows of our happy selves, no matter how one shields this from your other babies it tragically alters all you. <br />Encouragement is key for all mothers. Adoption planning circumvents this and is the real tragedy. Like inflation or deflation the spiral is inherent in our emotional makeup and we become vulnerable to influences. Please understand mothers that lost their children, while they may have technically given their children, to a supposed "more secure future" they were not giving their children away as their desired choice. We want our babies, we were babies too. I am so saddened that I did not get to have the love of my daughter's mother or my child. I would have loved to kissed her swollen belly, cooing my child with my voice and continuing my relationship with mother with as much joy as the act that created our daughter. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06100607223784688345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-11374376931990559332014-12-31T05:28:23.690-05:002014-12-31T05:28:23.690-05:00Adoption does suck. I was adopted as a baby and ha...Adoption does suck. I was adopted as a baby and have massive wounds from it that I don't think will ever heal. It has ruined my life, I hate my adoptive parents and I want to kill myself every miserable day, don't celebrate adoption, it's unnatural and wrong. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-5935843722192538202014-05-10T23:29:19.948-04:002014-05-10T23:29:19.948-04:00I did not read this in its entirety, nor all the c...I did not read this in its entirety, nor all the comments, but I am an adoptee who deeply resents the fact that these women who give away their own flesh and blood in reality cannot be called "mothers" at all!<br />Everyone knows that adoption is 2nd best. If the adopting couple could have their own children, they would have, and on and on and on. I could type a doctoral dissertation on adoption. If these women had not been immoral (Yes, folks: Immoral:, then they would not have found themselves in such an unenviable position to begin with. Take some personal responsibility for your actions.<br />I refuse to meet my birthmother.<br />She's not a saint and she is not a martyr. These women are plagues on society.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-87141732888261869782014-01-21T14:42:51.335-05:002014-01-21T14:42:51.335-05:00Thanks for posting a view that is so often overloo...Thanks for posting a view that is so often overlooked. For me, for my adopted sibling, and for the other adopted people I knew growing up, being adopted really sucked. There was a horrifying aspect of "Aren't you blessed to have been taken in by parents with the means to provide you a better life?" Adoption was treated like winning the lottery. Of course, natural children are never encouraged to view their place within their family as some sort of unearned or undeserved privilege.<br /><br />And yes, the people I knew growing up who were adopted faced disproportionately dysfunctional lives. As an adult today, I am the exception among this group, having managed to finally settle into a happy marriage with children, an idyllic life in suburbia, strong ties to my community, and real joy in my life. Of course, it took having my relationship with my adoptive parents severed before I was able to achieve this, and no, it wasn't me who did the severing, but them. It was an extraordinarily painful event, and I will always grieve the illusion I had of being loved by parents, but in the end, I am better for it. And all through, I know God lovingly guided me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-74851291925622581672013-10-24T11:41:22.606-04:002013-10-24T11:41:22.606-04:00This all around just makes me sad. I'd love to...This all around just makes me sad. I'd love to be a part of changing the perspective on adoption from a place of angst, shame, and disgrace, to love, honor and blessing. Weigh in on issues at loveofabirthmom.comHeidi Russohttp://loveofabirthmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-87685551772664978462013-05-08T15:44:40.038-04:002013-05-08T15:44:40.038-04:00If you are going to adopt, you may as well celebra...If you are going to adopt, you may as well celebrate. I guess what you really mean is "don't adopt!", rather than "if you adopt, don't celebrate". Its not really what you say, but I think it is what you mean.<br /><br />Because if you are adopting a child, it only makes sense to announce to your family and friends that your family has a new member. And to ask those family and friends to welcome this new addition. I don't think it is beneficial to the child to have adoptive parents who slink around with their tail between their legs in shame for having done such a terrible thing... yeah... that would really be doing the best for the child... *not*!<br /><br />Donnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-23374997962174718212013-02-03T06:21:28.698-05:002013-02-03T06:21:28.698-05:00Hi Denise,
I read your article with my heart in my...Hi Denise,<br />I read your article with my heart in my mouth.<br />I am an adoptee, and what you say is correct. I am just so sorry that you never knoew your son, but most importantly, he never knew you. I hope you can find the inner peace you so deserve.<br /><br />GabriellaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-16469881897464986642013-01-09T16:20:57.292-05:002013-01-09T16:20:57.292-05:00Adoption is a blessing to the Baby who is not want...Adoption is a blessing to the Baby who is not wanted by the birthmother. Instead of blaming the rest of the world think about your own actions, what lead you and your baby to all of this. if and only if young kids would think what can be the consequence of their actions.if you cannot take care of a baby don't have one! Abortion was illegal then it is legal now, so it is ok to get pregnant now? I have 2 kids and so I can imagine the pain of a mom who has to give up a child or the child's pain growing up, but how can the parents who are adopting the baby be blamed for anything,, especially if they are loving and caring? Young adults need to look at life more seriously, it cannot help a kid to know I was born because my mom wanted to have fun with this good-looking guy, with blonde hair. Adopted kids have questions about their birth mothers actions and decisions not their adopted parents intentions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-20071292345009724182012-10-29T12:58:17.683-04:002012-10-29T12:58:17.683-04:00Adoption sucks at both ends. I met my birth mother...Adoption sucks at both ends. I met my birth mother when I was about thirty and it seemed we both had been watching the same late night television shows. I'm happy I managed to get to the truth of my origins. It was cosmically interesting. I learned my birth father had been an actor in Orson Welles' production of The Cradle Will Rock, my mother was 20, he was 30 when I was conceived. He had won a drama scholarship to the University of Denver where he became a fraternity brother to Will Geer and Fess Parker. His role in cradle will rock was followed by a career as a weather man in the Army during WWII. My adoptive parents were very upright New Yorkers. My father was the editor in chief of the Columbia Law Review. My mother was on the faculty at the Dalton School and my classmates have all grown up to be Academy Award winning directors, composers, doctors, lawyers and clones of their parents. My adoptive mother had a late blossoming career serving on the Board of Directors of the Federal Reserve Bank. For searching out my biological parents my mother divided a 240,000 dollar annuity in two parts between my two sisters, the older one being another adopted child, the younger one being an accident that wasn't to occur. My adoptive father served for 40 years as the pro bono lawyer for Artists' Equity, the organization that wouldn't let Orson Welles perform Cradle Will Rock. The cast performed it anyway. In deference to my adoptive parent, he admitted to me that his best friend at Harvard Hudson Walker had asked him to take that job because my father could change the image of that organization to be more favorable to the likes of Diego Rivera and his talented wife, and to people like my biological father. Both my adoptive father and my biological father were friends of Adolph Gottlieb the abstract expressionist painter. I'm writing a book but won't self promote it. Seeing it from the end of the maternal mother is another matter. Mine was the accountant for Abba when we met. She quit because she hated seeing seeing publisher ripping off that popular group. All my parents are dead now My adoptive mother and I got along poorly. She used to chide me for taking apart clocks. "You just take things apart and then you can't put them together again." I like working on old cars. My biological father told me that his father was a mechanical engineer for Singer Sewing Machines in Brockton Mass. Yes, adoption does suck; especially when your adoptive mother hates you starting at the age of seven, making you into an experiment in Social Darwinism, and then disinherits you after lying for years about "not having money." Money has everything to do with who gets to adopt, and frankly it is no criterion for whether a child will be loved. They choose you; you don't choose them. I was lucky I ended up being loved by my adoptive father who encouraged me to do the search and shared what info he had. My biological mother was kind to contact the agency who arranged the meeting. Thanks for this blog...Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14431321493938917105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-50322835798880948322012-06-17T13:01:17.027-04:002012-06-17T13:01:17.027-04:00Not ALL infertile couples wish to adopt a child. ...Not ALL infertile couples wish to adopt a child. That is why there is something called "IVF". This means a couple can often have their own baby.<br /><br />Many perfectly fertile people, who already have their own children, go out and adopt all the time.<br /><br />Please quit spreading lies about people who cannot conceive.Janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03469446147426159902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-15845931123353879552012-06-11T10:08:15.769-04:002012-06-11T10:08:15.769-04:00I am currently going through an adoption. I can no...I am currently going through an adoption. I can not have children and the birth parents are very young and have no means to take care of a child, I have been involved in the WHOLE process as taking them to every doctors appointment, their "next of kin" are all drunks and drug addicts. The person who posted this blog is completely and utterly ignorant in the literal means. Thank you and have a nice dayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-32909324173644466812012-02-02T20:52:04.809-05:002012-02-02T20:52:04.809-05:00So sorry this happened to you.So sorry this happened to you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-31217124149967033152011-01-19T08:00:37.729-05:002011-01-19T08:00:37.729-05:00I am a male adoptee. It is well known the adopted ...I am a male adoptee. It is well known the adopted child starts with a disadvantage that can never be repaired, they will never do as well as they could of. They need to be treated with kid gloves and when they get abusive parents the damage is far greater than it would be for non-adapted children receiving the same abuse.<br /><br />I know from experience. I was not adopted for love. I have never been shown any affection or been told I was loved by them (or anyone for that matter). Just as well because by the age of 3 it was evident I would never want or accept such from them anyways.<br /><br />The old man liked the young boys. It was far safer and more convenient to have them at hand. The old lady had mental issues. <br /><br />When I was 7 I confronted them about how it was wrong to beat children. This was brought on because they beat my 3 year old sister for failing to remember the exact wording of some prayers they taught her to say before bedtime (they were not religious and did not attend church). This was nothing new. The old man used to hit her at the age of 1 for sucking her thumb. <br /><br />They were quite smug about being in the right to beat her (us) and in the fact I would be unable to do anything about it. Mommie Dearest decided my punishment for being so bold was no painkiller at the dentist for my entire childhood of many cavities and a root canal (not remotely a $ issue). I accepted this without even a whimper because the smallest complaint would have added an additional punishment at least 10 times worse.<br /><br />Never give a child up for adoption if you do not have to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-87283732681800415642010-12-08T08:59:55.615-05:002010-12-08T08:59:55.615-05:00Of course there is a reason to celebrate, for the ...Of course there is a reason to celebrate, for the child. If adoptive parents choose not to let their childern grieve their lose then that is their fault. As you kept stating the "birth parent" well the birth parent can't or wouldn't take care of the child. <br /><br />It is better that the child be surrounded by love wouldn't you think?<br /><br />I have two friends who are adopted one at 10 and anotehr since birth, neither one of them want anything to do with their birth parent and have know plans to search for them. My friend who was adopted at 10, remembers what it was like what her birth family, and she was HAPPY to be adopted.<br /><br />So it depends on each situation. Don't generalze.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-40259052411581835492010-02-22T15:10:55.965-05:002010-02-22T15:10:55.965-05:00To the Anonymous who posted on Feb. 22, 2010...the...To the Anonymous who posted on Feb. 22, 2010...the one who said I should get over it, I had a good life...who are you? How dare you tell me to get over it! And how the hell do you presume to know what my life has been like? Post your name or don't you have the balls?Denise Leitchnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-33469663259219635452010-02-22T09:37:29.845-05:002010-02-22T09:37:29.845-05:00Sorry for your tragedy. Get over it. You have had ...Sorry for your tragedy. Get over it. You have had a good life and you should thank God and count your blessings. There are many worse horrors in life that have befallen many other people. Your perspective about forced separation is understandable, but the many years with your loving partner, your loving puppies, your loving friends, your loving home and businesses were never had by billions of people that suffered much worse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-66583166767090431872009-12-01T17:04:43.006-05:002009-12-01T17:04:43.006-05:00Totally agree with the writer of this blog and wou...Totally agree with the writer of this blog and would suggest to all of those out there who haven't ever been forced to give away their child to please shut the f*** up! Rambling on about the happiness of adoptive parents - I'm sorry - the issue is the happiness of a NATURAL MOTHER AND HER CHILD! No country should allow this abominable act and those who involve themselves in the adoption of these innocent children torn from their natural mothers are part of the problem - enough of your religious, sanctimonious, false sentiments - this is a crime against humanity and deserves to be recognised as such. My most sincere sympathy to all those mothers who have been forced by disgusting, hypocritical, bigoted, fundamentalist states and countries to be separated from their own flesh and blood.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-75024059189107826812009-11-25T16:01:23.212-05:002009-11-25T16:01:23.212-05:00I realize that this post is very old...but as an a...I realize that this post is very old...but as an adoptee AND a birth mother, I had to make a statement that this post is completely untrue. To the woman that wrote this post. I understand your pain. Placing a child for adoption is hardest thing any woman can do. I get the feeling you were more forced into it...which I DO NOT agree with. I think it should be the mothers choice. I made the choice myself and my birth son has wonderful adoptive parents who DO keep their promises. YES there are adoptive parents that don't, and shame on them. But about the adoptees having problems....i don't have any problems. My 3 brothers, who were also adopted don't have any problems. So, while you can speak on being a birth mom who was maybe forced into adoption, you CAN NOT speak on whats it's like being an adoptee, because you are not one. I honestly suggest that you get counseling. I feel as though you have a lot of hurt and anger, and I am truly sorry for that. But counseling really does help. I myself had a few months of counseling right after placement. <br />If anyone would like to see a more POSITIVE outlook on adoption, please visit my blog. seanandsierra.blogspot.com. Or visit a great adoptive couples blog, therhouse.blogspot.comSean and Sierrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01803196235571629392noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-31173687739025458822009-03-04T14:49:00.000-05:002009-03-04T14:49:00.000-05:00I know I am very late to the discussion - I just c...I know I am very late to the discussion - I just came across this post and wish I could have contributed to it when it was still running.<BR/><BR/>But I just wanted you to know: I am sorry for all the dismissive comments you have received and the ones you will be receiving in the future.<BR/><BR/>Don't give up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6422846028217084743.post-33793631756918302552009-02-16T13:36:00.000-05:002009-02-16T13:36:00.000-05:00Don't you just love some of the the "followers of ...Don't you just love some of the the "followers of Christ" and the way they treat mothers who have lost children to adoption.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com